Gleefully Yours

May 27, 2010

Coach Sue Sylvester

William McKinley High School

Lima, Ohio

Dear Ms. Sylvester,

First let me say that I agree with you that Will Schuester looks like he spends an inordinate amount of time in front of the mirror, armed with hair grooming products. And his dimpled chin really does look like a baby’s bottom, depending on the angle and lighting.

And, as one fabulously amazing woman to another, let me add that I’m one of your greatest admirers. You show tough love when you need to, like your decision to oust Quinn from the Cheerios (that spandex uniform wasn’t going to hide her baby bump forever), and your determination to bring down New Directions demonstrates that you’re a force to be reckoned with – a gale force.

(Now, I don’t want to sound discouraging but that battle may not be as easy as you think – I, for one, already have 79 Glee Club songs on my little red iPod Nano and the school year isn’t even over in the Lima district – but there’s something to be said about your dogged persistence, peppered with a dash of manipulation and blackmail. Threatening to post that airline safety video on YouTube – you know, the one with Principal Figgins showing passengers the proper way to put on support hose to prevent leg embolisms on long flights – was sheer brilliance.)

And what can I say about your Vogue video? You put Madonna to shame. Beauty’s where you find it.

But it’s not those qualities – impressive though they may be – that have made me your devoted supporter. It’s because, like you, I have a family member with a developmental disability. My daughter Katie, now a young adult, has autism.

The diagnosis was a stunning blow, at first. There wasn’t all that much information about autism back then and all I could see were the limitations. We’ve spent much of the last 20 years trying to find the right school placement, the right recreational activities, the right adult program that would help Katie develop to her fullest potential. And along the way, we as a family learned that her life held way more possibilities than limits.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. As challenging as it is to be a parent of a child of any age with special needs, I imagine it was especially difficult for you to grow up in a family where one member was so...different – your sister Jean.

Did having a sibling with Down Syndrome feel overwhelming? Did you feel that you always had to look out for her? Did you secretly wish that you could just wake up one day in a new – more normal – family? What was school like? Were you embarrassed or angry – or both – when you heard kids snickering on the school bus, or in the hallways, calling your sister a “retard”? Do you worry now about who will take care of her – who will read her stories and lie on the bed laughing with her – if you’re not around?

Now, I know what you think of the kids in Glee, and it’s not pretty. But did you hear that, just a few days ago, Kurt’s father Burt put that overgrown jock Finn in his place when he heard him call Kurt the “F” word (not to be confused with the “F” bomb)? Did you know that gruff old Burt said that using a hurtful epithet to describe gay men was like using the “N” word or referring to that adorable little girl Becky in your cheerleading squad as “retarded”?

Way to go, Burt!

He sure got the ball rolling about the power of words. But the job isn’t finished. And you’re the only person I can think of who can bring it home.

You’re the only one who can take on the “R” word.

Retard. Retarded.

I bet those words make you cringe, like they do me. When did it become acceptable to toss them around with such abandon? You probably still hear those words used around the corridors at McKinley High. And from what I’ve seen, you’re not a woman who’s going to take that lying down.

It won’t be easy. In fact, it may prove to be a task even more daunting than bringing down Will Schuester. Because if McKinley High is anything like most of the schools I’ve known, it’s not just the kids that will need to be set straight about the “R” word. You’ll have to stand up to parents who’ve incorporated it into their lexicon and send a message to their kids that it’s okay. You may even have to confront some of your fellow teachers, but you’ve already shown that you’re more than up to that.

You, Ms. Sylvester, are the only one with the authority and the ‘tude to take on, and take out, the “R” word, once and for all.

It’s time for you to take a stand, as only you can – for Jean, for Becky, for Katie.

With best wishes for success as nationals approach, I remain,

Most Gleefully Yours,

Martha

P.S. If you’re not doing anything on Sunday, June 6, maybe you and Jean can join Team Kate’s Mates at the Westchester-Fairfield Autism Walk. We’ll look for you there.